the disconnecting count of days of fading away

.the world is not enough.

Rambled at 8:41 PM on Saturday, January 31, 2009 | Haloscan

3 more days!!
AARRRGGGHHH!! cannot wait!!

to this of cos =)))

and yes i have finally turned the last page to the twilight saga..
kinda sad dat there's no more books i can look forward to..
its like the drug just stopped there..
no more..
going cold turkey..

pok pok ke!!

haha

okay its another saturday n im bored as hell now..garh!

psychobabble

Rambled at 3:40 AM on Wednesday, January 28, 2009 | Haloscan

wei dgr2 tak keje eh bsok?!?!
da kul brape maseh tanak tdo..
flying kick aru tau...
bangun kul 7+ camne tu?!?!
nanti mata panda..
*talking to self*

i am blissfully happy =))
i sleep wif a smile..
n wake up wif all my clothes gone..
haha no lar!
wif a smile too.. =)

just some pictures of recent outings

my baby bella's new look (which i hopefully will get money to change da colour again hehe)

muke boboi haha

muke gegerl haha *no harm intended =))*

steamois demois (the one who thought im yours was sang by bob marley HAHAHAHA)

budak2 giler

muke mintak kene snapang gajah

i look chubby GRR! =< (being strangled wif a smile =))

yet if only i had my camera, my pics would be better..OH WELLS!
till den *hurries off to watch football*

its true

Rambled at 12:33 AM on Thursday, January 22, 2009 | Haloscan

shait! i go n cut my sideburns by myself..
now it looks..
haha i dun even wanna say
pls grow back sideburns!
i need u! =)

i am utterly nonsense n haf nothing to say..
dun haf anything to say actually..
when da day comes..

la vie en rose

Rambled at 12:09 AM on Friday, January 16, 2009 | Haloscan

nvr have i smiled as much as today..

there is going to be a big probability im going to see them

if u dunno who dat is well its the prodigy..i do listen to dem but there was this feeling..a gut feeling telling me to go..n im soo hyped out eversince..badside was it was gonna cost me $95..pout..n i have started to just always go wif my gut feelings..cleverly of cos..(feeling mcm yes man gitu haha)well dats no 1 which made me smile..cos i was going to a concert..

2nd thing was dat i got to watch a movie i always wanted to do such a looooong time ago..n dat was jeux d'enfants..aka love me if you dare..its a french movie..n a very good one..i've been always a sucker for romantic movies..as in i like to watch romantic movies..(sensitive side) haha...the ending was sad yet it was soooo nice n romantic..i cant stop smiling till now..

3rd..boss is not gonna be at work tmr..so its like a sense of freedom at work so y wudnt i be happy abt dat..

4th was dat im finally talking to u bella...n it felt really nice..

wanted to upload pics from my recent outing to rifle range wif my old frens..but still havent got them yet so i will when i get them..

ps.my cheeks hurt from smiling too much..

it feels like an eternity..

Rambled at 12:26 AM on Wednesday, January 14, 2009 | Haloscan

never have i been soo obsessed wif anything
yet i needed it badly..i need the 3rd book..
never has a book felt so right for me to read..
it just connected me..
cos i felt just da same way as the characters..

i too felt i am the same person yet i feel so empty inside..
the feeling that
........................ (silence fell on me as i felt the pain of it again)

you would always be my bella..
but i hoped i could be your edward..

in coma..

Rambled at 12:48 AM on Wednesday, January 07, 2009 | Haloscan

it was one of those days..
walking zombie like into the office..
with mega big eye bags..
all thanks to my new love..
and its actually a book..

it was a sunday..
i was bored as usual..
everybody's busy with work..
so wat better way than to go to town..
alone =)
so i walked around n picked out a shirt dat i liked..
to only noe it cost 130 bucks..
a TSHIRT..
haha okay maybe last time i did buy those kind of price tagged tshirts but i really need to stop..
but maybe i will get it one day..
so instead i bought another tee at 70 bucks..
after dat i didnt noe where else to go cos it was alrdy late to go to heeren n cathay so i decided to go to borders..
first thing i looked for was a book or movie called love me if you dare..
but the people told me they didnt bring in the book..
so i just went ahead n browsed around..
to see the book..
no not the book i wanted but another book..
yes twilight..
haha..

i really wanted to noe all the who ha about the movie being no.1 so i decided to get the book..
n it was 18 bucks so why not..
its been awhile since i read anyways..
and gosh i was hooked just like how i got hooked to harry potter the moment i finished with the first chapter..
i read on until i didnt sleep..
haha n i had work in the morning..
n im devastated that i finished it in 2 days..
haha n i really need to get the other parts..
cos its killing me to noe what happens next..
yes go get the book..
its really nice..
just my type..fantasy n romance..

n it was heartbreaking to find out my old hard drive was unrecoverable..
all the pictures!!! arrrggghhh!!
all the memories..
n i asked the computer shop if i really2 wanted to recover..
he told me the only way was to go to a specialist..
a specialist who has license from the government..
a person who kind of get the data out for investigations..
n it could cost me between 500 to 2000..
my jaw dropped at the moment..
sigh..
so people out there..if u got tings which are dear to u in the computer..
please make a back up..
invest in an external hard drive..
cos u wont noe when your hard drive could just crash..

just some pictures a few days ago..

the first person i spent with in 2009..haha we were on the bike to meet the rest when it turned midnight and also the one who jiwa n accident with me in december..n we both are december babies..haha

i still have a crush on ur sister =)

a panoramic view of the guys on new year..there were others but they went too look for girls in the area..

All i see

Rambled at 2:37 AM on Friday, January 02, 2009 | Haloscan

what a new year it has turned out to be...
i was being sarcastic..
for the whole day today i have just been sitting at home n rotting..
n now im just staring blankly into the screen..
even better, the song im listening to rite now keeps repeating 'dont u ever get lonely?'..
i feel lonely every single day..
eversince 19 oct..
im really jealous looking at u..
jealous dat at least u haf sumone else taking care of u now..
i want dat..
all i ever want was sumone to care n love me..
my heart is broken up into 4 sections..
my frens, my family, the special one(aka gf) n of cos myself..
ive got it all..
im happy wif the rest..
but there is just still one section which is ever so empty..
the special one of cos..
it sucks to see u so happy..
dont get me wrong but i do want u to be happy..
but i also do too..

ive always wanted to stop smoking..
i had a reason to stop..
i actually promised to at the end of 2008..
but i promised it to sumone..
but here i am typing wif a cigarette in my mouth..
why should i keep my promises if u cant keep urs..
n to make things better, i have a freakin hole in my lung bcos of the cigarrettes..
now i now why i sumtimes feel a sharp pain in my chest..

as i sit here wif my eyes closed..
the thoughts of wat the future might bring me..
i mean yes im excited for the new year..
and i really am hoping its gonna be better..
but theres just this feeling..
feeling scared..
but they say its good to be scared that means u still have something to lose..
al least it shows u havent lost everything..

but im also feeling dissapointed..
dissapointed with myself that i still cant get over you..
still here i am typing about u..
still here i am thinking about u..

"So I've been sleeping with this silence in my mind
And all I see scares me
And no one knows it, but she, she saved me

So I've been sleeping with this silence in my brain
I wake up here everyday in this god damn place
I won't wait here anymore

It's still not quite the way it was
But you promised me this is love
So stay and watch the hospital
That's just across the street
From your apartment balcony
I'll never ever leave there
I'll never leave

Oh, no one is watching now
Sing like you just might drown
But always come back home
'Cause I never got to see you once more, no
I guess that's all I wanted
Yeah, I guess that's all I needed

Now look, we've made a fool out of love
When all we want is to be enough
When all we want is to feel enough"

-lydia.